Musings

My greatest achievement ― 2 min read

My greatest achievement was realizing I had nothing I needed to achieve. The need to constantly achieve things has been a force under the surface of my life, driving a lot of my emotions and behaviors, controlling me in a way that was subtle and I often didn't fully realize. Ultimately it was impinging on my freedom and making me a prisoner in my own life.

My desire for achievement was rooted in feeling like I wasn't enough. Always this is what was driving me to achieve. Realizing I was enough meant I no longer had to achieve.

I've found freedom in realizing that everything is fine and perfect just the way it is and there is nothing I need to be striving towards to make things better. A life spent constantly striving is one without peace - as you accomplish each goal of yours more will crop up and the one constant will be your desire and your feeling of not being enough. If you cannot see the perfection that is around you right now you will always be looking in the wrong place for it.

Now I still believe you can live a fulfilling life by achieving things that improve the lives of those around you, but a sense of self that is attached to these achievements and driven by them will not lead to a peaceful existence.

Like many of the things I write about I have not actually fully achieved this realization, but if I am to heed my own words I also understand that I don't need to in order to prove I'm OK or to reach some version of the world that is OK. I am just glad I am more conscious of how I work and will be careful not to fall into any of these sort of achievement traps in the future.


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